Everyone in this this picture is attempting to photo-bomb each other. Mandatory Credit: John E. Sokolowski-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I’m not watching this game. I’m not usually one to pick college ball over the professional game, but I would be insane to watch the twitching corpse of Detroit’s season battle Rudy Gay’s masonry over the Michigan and Michigan State games tonight. Between Gay and Jason “Mason” Maxiell, this game will feature enough bricks to build a small house. So, yeah. I’ll happily tell you what to watch for, but one of the peons contributing writers will be watching this game.

Anyway, analysis! The Pistons continue to be abysmal in pretty much every way a team can be. They can’t score or defend, yet they still play a down-tempo style, which does them absolutely no favors. Aside from a one point win against the league’s worst team, the Pistons have been blown out by nearly every team they’ve faced the last month or so, regardless of whether it was on the road or in Auburn Hills.

Still, Jose Calderon remains a very good player — he leads the NBA in three point shooting between his time with the Raptors and Pistons at 46 percent — and should be motivated to play well against his former team. Greg Monroe has continued to play well despite minimal help from his front court compatriots and being forced to create much of his own offense. Beyond those two, though, it’s a struggle to name anything else Detroit has going for them.

The Raptors are 4-11 in their last 15 games. The loss of efficient scorers in Calderon and Ed Davis, coupled with the inefficiency of their replacements has stagnated Toronto’s offense, manifested perfectly in Rudy Gay’s hero-ball antics. Kyle Lowry, Amir Johnson, and Jonas Valanciunas are still reliable players, but the Raptors are very reliant on mercurial scoring outputs from Gay, Alan Anderson, and John Lucas — meaning they’re capable of scoring 115 one night and 80 the next. To be fair, Toronto’s defense has improved a bit with Gay on board, though not to an exceptional degree.

Not that any of this matters. I can’t imagine anyone in the state of Michigan is going to be interested in watching two depressing lottery-bound teams attempt to out-tank each other when Michigan and Michigan State are playing in the Sweet 16. Hell, I know I won’t be.

The Pistons briefly consider playing defense, but decide against it. Mandatory Credit: Bruce Fedyck-USPRESSWIRE

Look, I just… ugh.

February and March has been arguably the worst stretch of basketball I’ve ever seen from the Detroit Pistons. This isn’t the paralyzing sub-mediocrity we’ve seen the past couple of seasons, or the malaise of the Teal Era. This is genuine worst-team-in-the-league caliber play from the Pistons, who got absolutely embarrassed (again) by double digits (again) at home (something, something, again).

This time, however, the team laying the smack down was the Minnesota Timberwolves — a team that, coming into tonight, was a mere game and a half better than Detroit. Granted, the T-Wolves had Andrei Kirilenko back, which allowed Minnesota to limit Mickael Gelabale to mop-up minutes. But let’s be real, Kirilenko’s presence or Gelabale’s absence didn’t decide this game.

The details aren’t especially important here, mainly because they’re the same details we’ve seen for the past month or so. Greg Monroe and Jose Calderon were solid, Jason Maxiell and Kyle Singler were complete non-factors, Brandon Knight and Rodney Stuckey chucked, Jonas Jerebko didn’t get enough minutes, Khris Middleton and Kim English looked like they might maybe be rotation players — cut, paste, rinse, repeat. This isn’t tanking, it’s a freaking blitzkrieg, or maybe an Abrams tank speeding across the desert.

I’ve gone on the record as supporting a tank job to end the season, and I stand by that. The Pistons have nothing left to play for and nobody’s showing up to the games anyway, so what does winning actually accomplish? Still, this is a bridge too far. Losing by 20+ at home on a consistent basis is embarrassing, and it belies a complete lack of effort. There’s a smart way to tank — play the young guys, figure out which pieces you like, experiment with different lineups — and that’s not what we’re seeing from the Pistons. Middleton has been the only healthy Pistons rookie to see consistent playing time, Jerebko is still an afterthought, and Jason Maxiell is still playing 25-30 minutes a night. It’s going to take one hell of an off-season to justify this travesty, and Joe Dumars simply can’t be trusted to deliver anymore.